bad posturing

Do you ever get the feeling that you're too big, or too small, for normal, everyday objects and situations? I often experience this, even with very common things, or things you wouldn't think would be difficult. Many of my common mishaps include:

• Sinks and mirrors. They're always too low. I like being able to see what my hair is doing, but sometimes that's not allowed, apparently. Washing your hands should also not hurt your back.
• Cups. I've got a big nose, and sometimes cups don't line up right, and I just can't seem to drink out of them. It's too bad.
• Small-necked string instruments, like violins and mandos. I've got big fingers, and big callouses. Not as big as mando players, but still. Makes me wonder how Ricky Scaggs manages to play, because, man, does that guy have sausage-fingers.
  
• Urinals. Sometimes it's so bad that "splashback" occurs, and that's not even with the floorlength ones.
• Toilets. Believe it or not, sometimes they're too high. I know, right? Turns out my thighs are just huge, both in length and in girth, which means all my height is there and in my abdomen.
• Ellipticals. These are the bane of my workout existence. It's not fair. Everyone looks so graceful, loping along, watching TV, listening to Single Ladies; me? Nope, turns out my legs are too long, and I don't bend in the right places. I end up bouncing along, the gait not long enough, the machine trying to bend my knees somewhere around the thick portion of my shin...
• Keyboards. this comes back to the whole big fingers problem, and is a big reason I'm waiting on getting a netbook (the other two big reasons being money and impending hardware advances).

Well, that's all I can think of at the moment. Thanks for tuning into another pretty awkward blog post.