13.4.09

this is for all the all the people who dealt crack but stopped because they saw firsthand what crack does

I've been moving around so much the past couple weeks, I feel like I'm not even here anymore. There are manifestations of me across the country, and I don't have enough manifesto to stand strong where I am.

I sort of wish I had time and energy and willingness to try to create everything I want to. And if only I produced better results.

I've been up and down these past couple of days, I'm sorry. This particular post is getting rather emo. I should probably go to bed.

I have chicken to throw away, but it smells like shit shortly afterwards, and I'd like to avoid that for as long as possible. Only 2 more days until I'm eating real food again.

Grounding yourself is the best start to any task. I keep touching things to keep myself out of my head.

slip sliding

I'm sleepy this morning. Murrr. Haven't been getting my usual 8 hours, so it's not surprising. I just debated over that "it's" for like 30 seconds before realizing I'm an idiot and just kept writing. Wow. Out of it.

This is sort of an awkward week for me, logistically. I have to do things like laundry which shouldn't really be a problem to negotiate with my homework and class time, but I also have to eat. I have no food in my house, basically, until Wednesday evening, when my chili will be finished. I am literally out of food: no milk, no orange juice, no cheerios, no meat, no bread, no soup, no frozen pizza, no leftovers, no fruit. But, I have to housesit for my folks starting Saturday and going until next Thursday, so I can't really buy a whole bunch of food for my apartment when I just will have to go buy more food for the house. Once I'm living back at home, I'll be fine, but before then I just kind of have to limp along...

I think I may make a quick trip to Kowalski's or the Coop today between classes, just to pick up some perishable essentials: milk, cheerios, cadbury cream eggs, chocolate.

I don't know why this is such a big deal in my head right now. Probably because I'm hungry and didn't eat dinner last night.